My Fertility Journey

The First Period

Do you remember your first period? Were you embarrassed, afraid, excited? Did you, or do you, dread the idea of having a period at all? I wanted my period to come so badly, I used to beg for it in my prayers (and mind you, I wasn't very religious). I brought my "just in case" kit my mom made me everywhere. Any day could be the day, and I couldn't wait to be one of the big girls.

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At a sleepover, I proudly took out my overnight bag with my pads and liners, and to my surprise was faced with shock and disgust by the adults. "Put that away!", "That should be private!", "That's just for ladies". I was so embarrassed and ashamed, I felt like I had missed the big-girl memo.

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The message was loud and clear, and has been for a very long time now. That family member of mine was in good company - in the Bible, in Leviticus, it says, “Whenever a woman has her menstrual period, she will be ceremonially unclean for seven days.” In the third century, Aristotle said, “Women are the inferior species... because they menstruate.”

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I learned what so many cultures often teach girls - your period is GROSS, should be hidden away, it is impolite to talk about, and a part of womanhood that "sucks". Before my first period, I absorbed and believed the toxic belief so many women carry unknowingly - that our bodies are dirty and shameful.

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Hormonal Birth Control

One day it finally did come, and I started birth control at 13 after having heavy bleeding and cramping. It was the only solution the doctor could offer, so off we went with a stern word about the responsibilities of birth control. If I experienced any troubles, which I did, the brand was switched, or I was given a prescription to treat symptoms - antianxiety medication, sleeping medication, antidepressants. Plenty of other girls I knew were on birth control and didn't seem to have the same issues, so I chalked it up to my unique experience, and something all women experience varying degrees of. What seemed to be happening concurrently (mental health issues, emotional outbursts, brutal PMS) all seemed to be separate, despite the only constant variable remaining the same...

 

Detox

I decided to stop hormonal birth control when I was 23. I was single, sexually inactive, and I wanted to try and assess if my heavy periods, cramping, and mental health struggles had anything to do with the type of birth control I was on. And from that point, my fertility journey began. 

 

Dry skin, hair loss, mental fog, acne, two months without a period, lethargy... What was happening to me? I became obsessed with discovering how my natural cycles were supposed to work - because this could not have been normal. I searched high and low for books about coming off birth control, but there was a SEA of resources I was unsure about. What is a reliable source? What is not? Is it REALLY true you can avoid getting pregnant without the pill? Is there REALLY a way to understand what was always treated with a shrug of the shoulders, as something only a doctor should be confident knowing about?

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Towards Fertility Awareness

My quest for hormonal health led me down many dead-ends, but it also led me to fruitful discovery. Traditional Chinese Medicine, mindfulness, meditation, medication (tried that!), herbal remedies, lifestyle changes... I wanted to know it all. After so many years of unknowns, my appetite for knowledge was insatiable. It wasn't good enough to wait until one day, when I wanted to get pregnant, like the doctors said I should or had to - I wanted to be healthy and healed in preparation, convinced that women who aren't trying to get pregnant also deserve fertility resources.

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The Fertility Awareness Method stumbled across my lap online, and it changed my life forever. It allowed me the freedom to understand my own body without any expensive testing or appointments, and it gave me knowledge to assist me in all phases of my reproductive goals (not just birth control, not just conception). 

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Educating myself about my reproduction cycle, the holistic nature of the mind and body connection, understanding how my body functions and being able to truly listen to her and treat her, finally empowered me. For many, the healthcare system has been exclusionary, oppressive, judgmental, and dismissive - and for the first time, I felt confident that I could take my own health and fertility into my own hands, and be at one with my body, rather than fighting against her, or making her "wrong" for the issues I had experienced. I no longer needed to rely on medication or medical experts to explain to me the simple processes of ovulation or hormonal imbalances I was experiencing. I felt free.

 

Creating  Sarai Fertility

After all I had learned, I felt obligated and emboldened to begin a mission to spread my findings. What took me years of coordination between doctors, naturopaths, books, courses, and personal trial and error, HAD to be made into finding a better way for women to learn about their hormonal health. Whenever I talked with other women, so many shared experiences about their periods or fertility issues. I realized these were far more common issues than I was led to believe. I thrust myself down a path of education in women's health, fertility awareness instruction, and becoming a doula to fully equip myself for the task of being your support in your fertility health journey.

 

I clarify that my position towards the healthcare industry is not one of abolition, but of informed criticism. As a doula, I do not provide medical advice or clinical treatment. There are many cases where formal medical intervention is necessary, lifesaving and beneficial and that is up to medical professionals to determine. As your fertility consultant, I have no hesitation in referring to competent and trusted professionals should your situation require it.

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My re-education, and re-instated sense of power and confidence, initiated my vocation of helping women in all stages of their reproductive lives. Your personal goals may vary - you may want to get pregnant; regulate a hormonal cycle; receive support during and after your pregnancy, birth, or abortion; learning about your first period; discuss diet and lifestyle changes, cherish and nurture your postpartum body, avoid pregnancy, transition more comfortably into menopause. Having experienced many of these passages myself, I pride myself in being a non-judgmental, safe place for women to go - and for anything new, open-minded and willing to learn alongside the women beside me on my path.

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And.... the journey is not over! It's never over. That's the beautiful part of the The Women's Wheel of Life - every new addition, loss, change and growth in our life is a phase of our transformative journey. I am excited to grow into my own power as you discover and enrich your own.